Colic

She: Enoch cried from 2-5 in the morning all the way from 2-4 months

Me: You might disagree, but I'm pretty sure it was only a few times that he did that, not consistently.

She: (in an angry voice) How would you know that? I was the one who took care of the baby. You never woke up. You slept through everything. You never even knew I called the ER. You don't remember a lot of things. It makes me offended when you say that when I did so much work.

Me: Sorry, I didn't want to start a fight.

I couldn't tell her that I was there when she called the ER, that I distinctly remember waking up with her one night when Enoch wouldn't stop crying, that I remember her freaking out and calling the ER, and even that I didn't think it was necessary at the time that she call the ER. I also didn't tell her that there is no way Enoch could possibly cry for 3 hours in the morning and me not know it, and me sleep through all of it. I couldn't tell her that every time one of our newborns cries for more than a minute or 2 in the morning, it does indeed wake me up, but I go back to sleep when there's nothing I can do.

I can't tell her any of these things...! She's angry now and saying anything would just make it worse.

Green eggs and ham

She wasn't looking at me or responding to my questions. Not a good sign. She was feeding kids lunch. I asked if I could make her a sandwhich. NO THANK YOU. A few minutes later, she makes herself a sandwich.

I wasn't sure why she was upset, I tried to apologize for something. I told her I was sorry I didn't see the text to buy ice cream sandwiches. I was sorry mom made a comment. No, she said, these were not why she was upset.

She said now was not the time to change her mind, that I'm always trying to change her mind, that she doesn't want to read that stupid book.

What book? I have no idea what you're talking about.

Several minutes of silence as I think about what sh's talking about.

Green eggs and ham!

When she realized I didn't see her text to buy ice cream sandwiches, she was upset. I said she should try the fudgcicles in the fridge. She would like them! No! She said. But you would like them! You've never tried them! They have them in China, i don't like them. But these are different than the ones in China! How do you know you don't like them? We should read green eggs and ham together.

I apologized, saying that was demeaning.

But did she really think I actually wanted to read it with her? Did she know it was just an intellectual conversation, that I was curious how she actually knew she didn't like fudgicicles? Especially since I know she likes chocolate and think she might like them?

If she actually thought I wanted to read the book with her, it makes me wonder if this is a cultural or language barrier. And if so, how many other times she gets offended based off cultural/language barriers. Maybe not, though.

Either way... I can't tell her! It would just make her more angry and fuel the argument.

The wife is always right, just got to apologize and hope it goes away!

Headache

I comment about a bad headache I'm having.

She comments that she's not surprised, that I always have headaches, that she would be surprised if I didn't have a headache.

I have actually only had 1 headache in the last 2 weeks. I tell her she hasn't been very nice recently.

She gets mad and asks for specifics.

I tell her.

She gets angry.

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Summary: when she tells me stuff I do that makes her sad, I feel bad and apologize. When I tell her stuff she does that makes me sad, she gets angry.